Dedicated to my Star Wars hatin' friend Jamie... with a nod to Dr. Seuss

I am Lars.

Owen Lars.

That Owen Lars!
That Owen Lars!
I do not like
that Owen Lars!

Do you like to watch Star Wars?

I do not like them, Owen Lars.
I do not like to watch Star Wars.

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like to watch Star Wars.
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Would you like them on Naboo?
Would you like them with Beru?

I do not like them on Naboo.
I do not like them with Beru.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like to watch Star Wars.
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Would you watch on planet Hoth?
Would you watch them with Eeth Koth?

Not on planet Hoth.
Not with Eeth Koth.
Not on Naboo.
Not with Beru.
I would not watch them here or there.
I would not watch them anywhere.
I do not like to watch Star Wars.
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Would you?  Could you?
In a cloud car?  
Watch them!  Watch them!
Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a cloud car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them with Padme!

I would not, could not with Padme.
Not in a cloud car!  You let me be.
I do not like them on planet Hoth.
I do not like them with Eeth Koth.
I do not like them on Naboo.
I do not like them with Beru.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like to watch Star Wars.
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Tatooine!  Tatooine!
Tatooine!  Tatooine!
Could you, would you, on Tatooine?

Not on Tatooine!  Not with Padme!
Not in a cloud car!  Owen!  Let me be!
I would not, could not, on planet Hoth.
I could not, would not, with Eeth Koth.
I will not watch them with Beru.
I will not watch them on Naboo.
I will not watch them here or there.
I will not watch them anywhere.
I do not watch to watch Star Wars.
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Say!
A gundark?  Here's a gundark!
Would you, could you, with a gundark?

I would not, could not, with a gundark.

Would you, could you, with Palpatine?

I would not, could not, with Palpatine.
Not with a gundark.  Not on Tatooine.
Not in a cloud car.  Not with Padme.
I do not like them, Owen, you see.
Not on Naboo.  Not even Hoth.
Not with Beru.  Not with Eeth Koth.
I will not watch them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like to watch Star Wars?

I do not like them, Owen Lars.

Could you, would you, with a Wookiee?

I would not, could not, with a Wookiee!

Would you, if he gave you nookie?

I could not, would not, with a Wookiee.
I will not, if he gives me nookie.
I will not watch on Tatooine.
I will not watch with Palpatine.
Not with a gundark!  Not with Padme!
Not in a cloud car!  You let me be!
I do not watch on planet Hoth
I do not like them with Eeth Koth.
I will not watch them on Naboo.
I do not like them with Beru.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!
I do not like to watch Star Wars!
I do not like them, Owen Lars.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Watch them!  Watch them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Owen!
If you will let me be, I will watch them.
You will see.


Say!
I REALLY HATE to watch Star Wars!
I do!  I hate them, Owen Lars!
And I won't watch them with a Wookiee.
Especially if he gives me nookie!
And I won't watch on Tatooine.
Or with a gundark or Palpatine.
Nor in a cloud car.  Not with Padme.
They really suck, they suck, you see!
So I won't watch on planet Hoth.
And I won't watch them with Eeth Koth.
And I won't watch them on Naboo.
And I won't watch them with Beru.
I will not watch them here and there.
Say!  I hate them EVERYWHERE!

I hate those flicks you stupid Bith!
Now go away, or I'll go Sith!