By John Cosper

I saw this movie one night on the dish where a lady went to see her favorite movie day in and day out until one day, her favorite star suddenly broke character and began speaking to her from the screen. He had noticed her coming to watch him every day and was so enchanted by her beauty and admiration, he walked out of the movie to romance her. Cute idea, I thought. If only that really happened.

Oh how it DID!

It was the early part of a hot June, and I was the only guy in the theater. A rare opportunity to be sure. I mean this wasn't just any movie. This was Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Yup, the one where Yoda sheds his puppet coil for a CGI body that allowed him to thump that guy who used to play Dracula. Man I loved that movie. More specifically, I loved Padme.

Padme Amidala, the former queen of Naboo turned Galactic Senator. The toughest, strongest woman in the galaxy... and yet, a woman with a heart longing for love. It took a renegade like that hotheaded Anakin to draw her feminine tenderness out of her. Too bad he was destined to go evil on her. How many times did I long to scream at the screen, "He's evil!! Don't trust him!! He's gonna turn Sith on you and leave you a single mom with twins!!" I mean for crying out loud, why would anyone stay with a guy after he slaughtered a pack of Tuskens? And yet night after night, I watched her fall in love with her Vader-to-be.

It was the thirty-third time I had been. What can I say? I am a fan. In fact, three years prior, I had changed my last name to Skywalker. I have no idea how it happened except to say it was movie magic, but that fateful day, I caught her glimpsing at me. It started in the scene by the fireplace, as Anakin poured his heart out to her. Her eyes seemed to be crying out to me for help, like she finally got it. Could this really be right? Could this hot-blooded Jedi be the only decent guy in the universe?

Our eyes met later on Tatooine, after Anakin took off to find his ill-fated mother. This time, though, she didn't look away. Her eyes locked on me, and she started walking towards the screen.

Next thing I knew, she was standing beside my seat, still dressed in that gorgeous blue-green outfit with her navel showing.

"Hello," she said.

Now much as I wish I could say I had a charming comeback, I didn't. Instead, I went with Anakin's line from Phantom Menace. "Are you an angel?"

Padme's heart seemed to sink. "I'm sorry, maybe this was a bad idea."

"No wait," I said. "Please don't go." She turned to me, her eyes full of longing. Gosh, she was even more beautiful in person. "What are you doing here?"

"I..." she started. "I don't know. I've noticed you here, everyday. You're always watching me, always looking after me."

"Yeah," I said. "Is that okay?"

She nodded. "It's fine. In fact I'm glad you've been here. I... I think it's sweet."

"Sweet?" I asked.

"You came to see me before, didn't you?"

In truth, I had seen Phantom Menace a few dozen times. "Yes, yes I did."

She smiled. "I thought so."

"There are a lot of us you know," I said. "A lot of guys who worship you from out here." I wanted to add, "longing to love you," but I was not going to push my luck with this strong and beautiful creature.

"I know there are," she said. "And some are... well, quite frankly, they're scarier than a Hutt. But you..." Her eyes glimmered, and a smile broached her lips. She needed say nothing more.

The doors to the theater flung open, as the manager and three employees entered. "What are you doing??" the manager shouted. "You aren't supposed to leave that screen and you know it!"

We glanced back at the screen. Anakin had just returned with his mother's body. This was the part where Padme came to ease his troubled mind. But Padme had no desire to go back. Not now that she was with me. "I'm not going!"

"Then we'll make you!"

I stepped in front of Padme. "Now just a minute!"

"Back off fan boy!" The manager zapped me with a cattle prod, sending me flying over several rows of seats.

And that's when Padme kicked his butt. She kicked the cattle prod from his hands and hurled the manager into his stunned employees. She grabbed my hand and we raced for the emergency door.

Her eyes widened as we entered the parking lot. "Where's your ship?"

"I don't have a ship," I told her. "I drive a Honda."

I led her to the car and opened her door for her. Then I slid across the hood Dukes of Hazzard style and got in the driver's side.

"It's so tiny," she said.

"Yes, well... we're not as advanced as your civilization," I said. Ironic, she came from a galaxy far, far away a long time ago, and yet I'm driving a clunker, and she has a starship.

We raced to my tiny apartment on the north side of town. Padme tried her best not to laugh as she saw the primitive dwelling, with manual ovens, sinks, and no droids as servants. She tried not to be creeped out when she saw how many tiny action figures I had on display in her likeness. Then she tried not to be jealous when she saw how many more figures I had of another young woman from a galaxy far, far away.

"Her name's Leia," I said.

"Do I know her?" Padme asked.

"You will," I said with a wink.

I baked some mini corn dogs and served them to my new girlfriend along with a root beer. I know, I know, she's royalty and deserved better, but the Senator from Naboo loved them. Honest!

"I love this meal," she told me. "You are truly a clever guy to create this interesting combination of food and drink."

I nodded my appreciation. "So... you and Anakin..."

Padme's mood sank. "I don't get him. He can be so sweet one moment, and then the next moment he's a total... a total..."

"Nerfherder?" I offered.

"I was gonna say jerk, but that works."

"Well," I said. "It's not really any of my business, but I think you can do better."

"You mean you?" she said, smiling again.

"Maybe," I said.

"I want a guy who will let me be weak," she said. "I spend so much time being strong and hiding my fragility. I need someone to hold me and love me, be my knight in shining armor."

"Or brown robes," I quipped.

"Nah," she said. "No more Jedi. No more hot-heads."

"You need someone who will respect you and your career," I offered. "Someone who won't be competing with you for the spotlight. Someone who won't go Sith."

Padme looked at me, a genuine look of concern on her face. "You really think Anakin might go Sith?"

I shrugged, stifling a laugh. "Yeah, it could happen."

Padme stared into my eyes a moment longer, then laughed. "You're making fun of me." She leaned into my shoulder, and the next thing I knew, she was snuggled in my arms, kissing me. And yeah, guys, it was just as good as she makes it look in the movie.

That night she slept in the bedroom while I slept on the couch. I am a gentleman, and not about to try anything with the wounded heart of the former queen of Naboo.
We were awakened the next morning by an angry mob of theater owners outside. "Open up, fan boy!! We know you're in there, and Padme's with you!"

Padme raced into the den, staring out the window with me. "They want to take me back, don't they?"

I nodded.

"I'm not going with them."

"What options do we have?" I said. "I don't have a starship."

Padme pulled a communicator from her belt. "Captain, can you hear me?"

I didn't have much hope, but thank goodness for advanced technology. "I'm here, m'lady."

"I need transport for two from..." she looked up. "What is this place?"

"Earth," I told her.

Padme's puzzled look indicated she was not familiar with my home world. "Just home in on my signal, and fast."

Boy did they move fast. Twenty minutes later, the theater owners had nearly broken down my door when a gleaming metallic ship appeared in the sky. Padme and I climbed out a window up to the roof, and Captain Typho flew us to safety.

The next few weeks were magic. Dinners on Coruscant, Naboo, and at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. I met Padme's family, too. It's such a shame they were cut from the final print because they really were great folks. That night, we went for a walk near the waterfalls of Naboo.

"I love you," she told me.

"You do?" I didn't know what else to say! "Can you really love me?"

"My heart tells me I can," she said.

"But you're a Senator from Naboo, and I'm just--"

"A man from a far away star who has captured my heart," she told me. "I truly, deeply love you."

"I love you too," I said.

Next day, we were married. We took a honeymoon cabin on Hoth -- the warmer part, far from the future Echo Base, where the skiing is incredible! We took a cottage on Alderaan, where Padme ran for and won a seat in the Senate. She became the first being to ever represent two different planets in the Galactic Senate. Things were going well.

Until one day.

Padme took me on a trip for our first anniversary to see the largest volcano in the galaxy. We took a hike to the mouth of the volcano, where she told me she had some exciting news. "My darling," she said, "I love you. And I have wonderful news. You're going to be a--"

"Padme!!!"

We turned to see one very ticked off Jedi, his red saber gleaming, moving toward us. "You will pay for abandoning me on Tatooine!!"

"Anakin?" Padme was scared. "Anakin, what are you doing here?"

"You walked out on me," he said. "When I needed you most! After I poured my heart out to you!"

I thought we were dead, just like the Tuskens on Tatooine. But then, another Jedi leaped into action from a hiding place among the rocks.

"I knew I'd find you here, Anakin!"

"Obi Wan!" Anakin shouted. "Get out of my way!"

"No, my former padawan!" Obi Wan attacked with his blue saber blazing. Anakin met his attack with a furious offense, but the master was still superior to his padawan. He made quick work of the angry, scorned lover and cast him into the volcano. Padme crumpled into my arms. "He's dead."

"I'm not so sure of that," I said, recalling the legends that said it was Obi Wan who tossed Anakin into a volcano, thus necessitating the need for the Vader life-support suit.

Obi Wan extinguished his saber and turned to us.

"Oh boy, you messed things up," Obi Wan said. "You left the movie, and Anakin went off. He killed Mace, Ki Adi Mundi, Plo Koon, Jar Jar. Heck, he even flew to Endor and killed a few Ewoks just for kicks."

"He was going nuts anyway," I said.

"Be that as it may, we have to get you into hiding, m'lady," said Obi Wan.

"What about him?" said Padme, turning to me.

"I'm sorry," said Obi Wan. "He has to go home."

We followed Obi Wan to the spaceport. "Can we have a moment?" Padme asked.

Obi Wan nodded, and Padme and I took our final walk together.

"You were about to tell me something," I said. "What was it?"

Padme looked at me, a tear in her eye. "I'm so sorry we have to end like this. But just know, that our love will live on in our children."

"Children?" I saw her hand drift to her belly... and suddenly I got it. Well, I got it, but I didn't. Was it really possible? Was I to be the father to young Skywalker? And Leia?

Padme's hand stroked my cheek, tears streaming down hers. "I will always love you," she said. She kissed me deeply, then we walked back to the hangar.

I saw Jimmy Smits-- err, Bail Organa, waiting to take Padme back to Naboo. Obi Wan came over to me. "I don't know where you are from," said Obi Wan, "but the twins in Padme's womb are strong in the force. They may be able to save us, some day."

"I'm sure they will," I said.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come. I have secured transport for you as well."

He led me to docking bay 94, and a Corellian freighter that looked a lot better than when I initially saw it. The pilot was a young, teenage hot shot smuggler, and his co-pilot a very familiar furry face. We fired up the engines and were off to Earth.

"Stand by for the jump to light speed, Chewie." The engines roared, and the Millennium Falcon jumped into hyperspace.

"Whew!" the pilot exclaimed. "I am so glad Lando's such a bad Sabacc player."

"Fast ship," I commented.

"Sure is," the pilot said. "And that was some cute chick you were cuddling."

"Yes," I said, watching the planet disappear behind us on screen. "Yes she is."

"She have a sister?"

I smiled. "She's having a daughter."

The pilot nodded. "Ahh. Well, it'll be a while before I can make any moves, but if she's anything like her mom..."
I wanted to hit the guy for talking about my daughter that way. But two things stopped me. One was the Wookiee with the life-debt in the co-pilot's seat who would rip my arms out. And two... I had made enough of a dent in my favorite saga.

I sat back in my seat, and drifted off to sleep. I was sad to be leaving my true love Padme in the stars. And sadder still that when I got home, my friends would never believe it.

THE END

Copyright 2005 by John Cosper