Man’s Best Defense

By John Cosper

Trevor drummed his fingers on the dash of his hovercar with all the speed of a new Z38 Interstellar Hyperdrive. Cara could sense his nervousness and massaged his shoulder gingerly. "She’s going to love you, I promise."

He breathed a little easier at her reassuring words. "I sure hope so. I just… I love you so much. I want them to see that, you know?"

"You already won my parents over," said Cara. "Grandma’s all prepped for this. I told her how you work for the space program just like me, how you love kids, and love country music."

"You told her that I love country music?" he said.

"She’s a big country music fan, from way back. She grew up in Garth’s hey day."

"What did she think of that?" he asked.

"She said, ‘He sounds like such a nice boy.’"

"Really?"

Cara squeezed his shoulder once more. "She loves you all ready. And as long as you make nice with Lulu, you’ll be fine."

"The dog?"

"She’s her best friend in the world," said Cara. "And she swears that Lulu knows bad people when she sees them. If she likes you, you must be special."

The hovercar slowed to a halt in the dock outside the late 20th century home of Cara’s grandmother. They disembarked from the hovercar and walked to the door, where Grandma and Lulu, a feisty little white Bichon Frise, were waiting.

"Oh mercy, Cara, don’t you look like an angel?"

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Grandma, this is Trevor, my fiancé."

"This is Trevor?" Grandma clapped her hands on either side of a wide open mouth. "Oh, Cara, he’s a handsome devil, isn’t he? Welcome!"

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Oh, Lulu, you be still." Grandma stepped around Lulu to give Trevor a generous hug, then beckoned them both into the house over the loud barking.

"Have a seat, both of you," Grandma said as the door slid shut. Lulu followed Cara and Trevor to the antique, plush couch.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Lulu, relax! It’s Cara and her fiancé. You know Cara."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Give her a few minutes, Trevor. She’ll get used to you."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

Cara felt the best way to ease Trevor’s fears might be a diversion. "What’s on the Holovision, Grandma?"

"Oh, Fox News, as always. They’re talking about the Moon People again."

Cara stifled a smile, leaning over to Trevor. "Grandma’s a big follower of the Moon People story."

"The Moon People should concern us all!" Grandma said in her defense. "It’s the greatest threat to our planet, and the world my grand kids will inherit!"

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"You think so?" Trevor asked.

"I do!" said Grandma.

"I’ve told you before," said Cara, "the Moon People are the work of hysteria on the Lunar Colony. There’s no such thing!"

"That’s what you’re supposed to say," said Grandma. "You work for the government, and the government has to keep people from panicking. But I’m your Grandmother. You can tell me the honest truth."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Lulu, be still!" snapped Grandma. "Trevor, you work at the space program too. What do you think?"

"Well," said Trevor. "I’ve never seen any evidence for Moon People. But like you, I think it’s worth investigating."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Don’t encourage her," Cara said with a nudge.

"I’m serious," said Trevor. "Studies have shown the lunar atmosphere can interact with some of our advanced medicines and create adverse effects. Now, I don’t know if it could create a race of subversive, hyper-intelligent Moon People who look just like us and want to take over and rule mankind through terror."

"But wouldn’t you feel safer knowing for sure?" asked Grandma.

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"I certainly would," said Trevor.

Grandma nodded approvingly. "This one’s got a good head on his shoulders, Cara. I like him!"

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Really?" Cara looked at Trevor with a wink. "I’m beginning to have my doubts."

"Cara, if we’ve learned anything from the past, it’s that openness and honesty from the governmental level are necessary to establish trust. We don’t know for sure that Moon People exist, but we have studies saying it’s possible. We should admit that and investigate."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"Well, when you run the space administration, you can be open and honest. Until then, we have to do as we’re told."

Trevor gave Grandma a resigned look. "Sorry."

"It’s okay. Knowing men like you are out there makes me feel better. I probably will sleep better tonight."

Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

"That is if she ever calms down. Lulu, honestly!"

"She just needs to make sure I’m okay," said Trevor. He leaned forward, letting Lulu sniff his hand. "Yeah, see? I’m harmless. I’m okay."

Lulu sniffed him silently, determined to make her own mind up. She gave a look to Cara. "He’s a nice one, isn’t he?" Cara said. Lulu answered by turning and scampering off to the kitchen.

"Well, it’s about time!" said Grandma. "I was beginning to wonder. Lulu only barks at bad folks you know. Like that Corey boy you dated in high school that was seeing two other girls behind your back!"

"Yes, I told him," said Cara.

"I’m glad to know Lulu approves," said Trevor. "I guess she just needed a chance to check me out herself."

The three could hear the pitter patter of Lulu’s feet even before she reached the door, where she stopped to aim an Israeli-made .40 caliber laser pistol at Trevor and blew a hole the size of a softball in his chest…

By eleven o’clock it was on the news in every city in the world. Police, searching the car of a young space program worker blown away by a dog, had found real, tangible evidence proving the existence of Moon People. The young man in question, Trevor Quinn, was in fact a Moon Person, sent to Earth to scout and plan terror attacks on the North American continent. They also found contact information for an entire network of Moon People spies which led to several shoot outs and arrests around the world. Moon People story was now fully in the open, all thanks to the daring of a Bichon Frise.

For her part, Cara was inconsolable, distraught that this, too, was just another link in a long chain of bad men. "For heaven’s sake, Grandma, they even found a dimebag in the glove box."

Grandma had no words of comfort as she pet Lulu, sitting in her lap. She just shook her head, repeating over and over, "He seemed like such a nice boy."

 

Copyright 2006 by John Cosper